to herself , as she laylieback in the corner of the railway carriage , with her veil down , how she would wind herself up to the duty of presiding at her papa 's dinner-parties , and charming everybody by her good humour , and brightness , and devotion to his comfort ; and how , when it was all over , she would withdraw and cry her eyes out in her own room , and be found in the morning languid and worn-out , but always heroical , ready to go downstairs and assist at dear papa 's breakfast , and keep up her smiles for him till he had gone out to his patients .