her sobssob, and triedtryto lie quiet as if asleep , for fearfearof making her father unhappy by her grief , which she dared not express before her aunt , and which she rather thought it was wrong to feel at all after the long hoping , and planning , and contriving they had gone through at home , before her wardrobe could be arranged so as to suit her grander circumstances , and before papa could leave his parish to come up to London , even for a few days .