up her mind on her journeyjourneyto a great many virtuous resolutionsresolution; for , in such a case as hers , it was evidently the duty of an only child to devote herself to her father 's comfort , and become the sunshine of his life , as so many young persons of her age have been known to become in literature .
But the gleam of a bright red firefirethrough the parlour window had more effect in cheeringcheermy spirits , and rebukingrebukemy thankless repinings , than all the sage reflectionsreflectionand good resolutionsresolutionI had forcedforcemy mind to frame ; — for I was young then , remember — only four-and-twenty — and had not acquired half the rule over my own spirit that I now possess — trifling as that may be .
However , I did not act quite so hastily as the first heat of my resolutionresolutionprompted ; but I tooktakemy mother at a time when I thought her a little more pleasant than ordinary , and told her that my thoughts were so entirely bent upon seeing the world that I should never settle to anything with resolution enough to go through with it , and my father had better give me his consent than force me to go without it ; that I was now eighteen years old , which was too late to go apprentice to a trade or clerk to an attorney ; that I was sure if I did I should never serve out my time , but I should certainly run away from my master before my time was out , and go to sea ; and if she would speak to my father to let me go one voyage abroad , if I came home again , and did not like it , I would go no more ; and I would promise , by a double diligence , to recover the time that I had lost .